Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Sorry my baby

Finally it has happened. I was dreading this day would come and it has come so soon. I have left my Baby to his day care center. Morning we cycled down to his daycare.He was in a good mood singing and showing me all the cars and telling the cars and plants" Helllllo!!" .After a while he became silent .So i spoke to him telling "Puthaa,gundu ,sweetie..... " Immediately he responded with "dada":) He wanted me to call him dada!!. Dada is called for elder person or brother in konkani. I don't call him that at all.
We were at the center at 9 :45am .He likes the colourful walls and many toys that they have .He was in fact playing with his shoe lace when I left him on the floor. Everything was fine until I was there but internally I guess he sensed that I will be leaving him soon. He was holding on to my hand tightly as soon as we went in side "dreumes" room (ie toddler).
I wanted to make a quite exit and not make a big deal out of it. After all I have been thinking about this since so many days. I will give him a hug and a kiss tell him that I will be there when he needs me, will come back before he knows it.Calm and Simple.
Well.... I couldn't do any of those :(I have to admit i was not brave enough to face him crying. When the child minder picked him up I felt like he was torn from me.My poor baby.. He was crying for me and dint understand why I was leaving him. I left that place as soon as possible and was also angry on myself for leaving him behind.

I have called the place two times in one hour .First time I called them he was still moaning and crying. They read him a story and took him out to play. The second time that I called , he was sleeping in the cot. I wish I had a permanent camera fixed there so that I could keep a watch and know that he is doing fine. until that happens I have to carry the guilt of leaving him .I am consoling myself that the people are nice,they have loads of books ,toys and the sand pit is just the place to play for hours together ,the play group kids are cute and not boisterous.Even though I am telling myself this the guilt is still troubling me. I hope my P will forgive me one day for it. Mamma is Sorry baby but mamma is going to make you favorite macaroni when you are back.


Stumped said...

Awww... Is the day already here. I thought he's going tomm.! I remembered the first time I left mine. ;'(.. Don't worry.. YOu have to let go of them sometime, it's for their best, they will learn lot more stuff. Let me know how he did on his first day. And give tight hugs from me.. :oX

Kelidoscope of thoughts said...

ho I had no heart to update the post with the next day's recation
:( When I picked him up on the second day, he was acting as though he doesnt know me :( (Sob sob sob )feet so bad ..but after we came back home he was humming a new tune and he slowly smiled at me and became normal. Then ,I was really thankful that he was having a good time afterall :)